Posted on: September 1, 2010 10:56 am

10 Random NFL Thoughts (Sept. Edition)

1) I admit I'm hooked on Hard Knocks this season.  But I can't help but think that they were a year too early when they did the Bengals last year.  I would L-O-V-E to have camera's inside the offensive meetings with TO and Ocho Cinco planning their end zone dances while Palmer is try to talk strategy. Would anyone be surprised if one of those dances mimics the last 5 minutes of Dirty Dancing (you know you've seen it) ending with T.O. holding Ocho up in the air and twirling him around while the PA plays "I've had the time of my life". 

2) Speaking of Hard Knock's... Have to mention Cromartie try to remember all of his 7 children (with 5 different women).  Look, I'm not judging seeing has how he has the means to support them and that's all fine and good. BUT forgetting some of them when he was asked to name them... yeesh.  If I'm him I'm going the George Forman route and naming them all Antonio after him (even the girls).... If you're confused about how to put on a condom, you're probably going to confuse yourself by giving 7 kids by 5 different woman all different names.

3)  You know on the Simpsons when Mr. Burns comes up with some crazy idea and Mr. Smither's if forced to put himself in harms way even though he knows Mr. Burns is crazy and is only capable of making the WRONG decision.  Enter Tom Cable having to put McFadden at the top of the depth chart instead of Bush simply because his insane boss drafted Mcfadden about 100 spots higher than he should have.  Speaking of which... would anyone want to be married to Tom Cable when he comes home at night after having to meet if Al Davis all day... Let's just saw if he goes for the scotch and clenches his fist in anger....either put on a facemask or get the heck outta that.

4) No TD drives for new Eagles starter Kevin Kolb....I don't know if this is one of those "prank the new guy" things that vets do during training camp BUT the Eagles O-Line is blocking like Kolb slept with their their own house....on national TV....and ran over their dog when he left.

5) Numerous GM's have chimed in off the record that they think V-Jax is worth about half of what he is asking for.  In a related story, his advisor David Carruso has told him to pursue a movie career because that always works out.

6) Arian Foster has successfully taken out the two people ahead of him on the Texans depth chart.  In a related story Jeff Gillooly was spotted at the Foster home and will be appearing in their family holiday card this year.  In not saying....I'm just saying.

7) I put the over/under for games played by Farve at 8.  He is already getting his ankle worked on and week 1 isn't even for another week.  His body just can't handle another full season at his age and the number of snaps he has taken over his career.  Just to put it in perspective.  He was drafted in 1991 and the other QB's drafted that same year....Dan McGwire, Todd Marinovich (ouch), Browning Neagle (double ouch), Scott Zolak, Craig Erickson (this was becasue of the Miami rule which states every 1990's Miami QB had to be taken in the NFL draft regardless of talent level).  FYI.. picks 2-4 overall in that draft were Eric Turner, Bruce Pickens (who?), Mike Croel.

8) It's simple Leinert.... you check down on EVERY PASS PLAY.  the defense knows that on passing plays they only need to cover underneath because you will never throw it deep.  Your comp. % is high because you're throws are just long handoffs while Fitzgerald is 40 yards downfield, wide open and screaming for the ball.  I'm calling it now... If Kurt Warner gets injured on Dancing with the Stars I see the recently unemployed Leinart shocking the world by accepting to be his replacement.... and then getting voted off the next week which send him into a Lohan type bender ending in jail time.... you heard it here first.

9) Let's see... I'm Sam Bradford... I'm a rookie QB in the NFL... I have no O-Line.... no receivers....and a defense that will force us to score a ton to have chance.  If I'm him I'm driving Steven Jackson everywhere in the "Pope-Mobile" and rubbing his back every night before bed.  Don't read anything into that last part.... it's all about football.

10) Word is out that Jay Cutler is now dating reality "star" Kristin Cavallari and is all over the TMZ (and those other trash gossip rags).  Runmor has it that in a retaliation move Tony Romo dating the entire Kardashian family (including Bruce Jenner).

(Please check out my 10 Random MLB Thoughts (Sept. Edition) on the MLB Threads posting later today or tomorrow.)

Category: NFL
Posted on: August 6, 2010 11:08 am

10 Random NFL Thoughts (August Edition)

1) Anyone who has or has had a 4-year old knows how trying it can be to try and reason with them.  Coach Shanhan is running out of options with his 6-6 350 pound 4-year old.  The only thing left to do is tell him he can't watch Dora The Explorer until he passes the conditioning test. 

2) On Tuesday, once "The Favre News" broke, ESPN started showing a "Favre retrospective" within 90 minutes of the news hitting the wire.  I watched the first five minutes only to realize it was the EXACT SAME retrospective they did last summer and are just replying it.  Between the Farve story and "The Decision" and the other mindless dribble they are putting out would you really be surprised if it was revealed the Perez Hilton has been the CEO of ESPN for the past 6 months?

3) I'm still a little shocked at all of the troubled and washed up stars the NY Jets collected this offseason.  you heard it here first but I'm betting that within the first 2 episodes of Hard Knocks, Sanchez is going to get hit over the head with a guitar during a scrimmage and by the recently signed Honky Tonk Man.  It's that much of a circus.

4)  Nicks, Bryant, Maclin.  Teams in the NFC east need to be very worried there is some kind of curse knocking out talented young receivers. In a related note, being void of such talent the Redskins are not concerned.

5) Ocho AND TO on the same team.  I am pumped for some of these end zone dances.  I exact them to go all out.  you might even see there first end zone celebration mirror the last 5 minutes of Dirty Dancing.

6) Anyone who saw the two Eagles/Cowboys games from the end of last year saw how bad the Eagles O-Line looked.  As of this writing they appear to be in even worse shape.  Phlly hasn't seen a starting 5 this bad since the sixers season ended 3 months ago.

7) All-Pro LT Clady, hurt and won't be back to start the season.  All-Pro DE Dumerville, hurt and out for the season.  Most popular QB is the 3rd stringer.  First and second string RB's out for a month.  All-Pro WR traded in the offseason.  You know that look the Willy Coyote gets when he unkowingly runs off a cliff chasing the roadrunner, gets halfway accross the canyon and then realizes he's about to fall FAR and he looks right into the camera....Watch for that look on Josh McDaniels face this week.

8) This week Commisioner Roger Godell was caught reciting the following in an elevator...."with the first pick in the 2011 NFL draft, the Buffalo Bills select".....

9) I would not be surprised if Favre calls it a career.  Did you see the beating he took in th eNCF championship game.  I haven't seen beat down like that since Drago/Creed in 1986.

10) My picks for the playoff teams this season:
Saints- Super Bowl Champs return pretty much in tact, under the radar andplay in a weak division.
Cowboys- a lot of jobs, hopes, dreams and expectations fall on.... Doug Free?
Packers- Nothing like playoff football at Lambeau
Niners- This team is young, hungry, talented and plays in a weak division
Cards- see Niners. 
Eagles- see Niner (sans the weak division).  I had Minn here but even if Favre comes back I think he gets hurt early in the season (that 40 year old foot is just not right).

Jets- Finally knock off the Pats.
Bengals- they can run, pass, and shut down the pass. 
Colts- Payton.  next.
Chargers- who in the AFC West can stop them, even without Jackson and McNeil.
Texans- These guys are primed and ready on both sides of the ball (but can they stop the pass)
Miami- I think Henne answers the call and gives Miami the QB they have lacked since Marino hung up his cleats.

10) Hall of Fame Game on Sunday, Madden drops on Tuesday, Hard Knocks debuts on Wednesday.  I am pumped!!  All this and the season doesn't even start for over a month.  I feel like that roommate we all had in college that starts drinking at 7 AM for a party that doesn't start until 10 PM.... the next day.

Category: NFL
Posted on: August 2, 2010 4:02 pm

10 Random Baseball Thoughts (August Edition)

1) Who else is taking bets that the stress of chasing #600 will force A-Rod back on the juice.  Over the past week and a half he has had that same look on his face everytime he's in the batters box.  It's a cross between anxious, nervous, scared and trying to play it cool all at the same time.  It reminds me of the expressions Jeff Daniels' character Harry makes in the movie Dumb and Dumber after the laxitive Jim Carrey gives him kicks in on the way to his date with Mary.  I'm sure when he finally hits 600 his face will again resemble Harry's after he takes out the downstair toilet.  Urgency Emergency!!

2) I watched a Giants/Dodger game over the weekend and decided to time Pat Burrell as he ran from first  to third on a base hit.  As of this writing he is just now rounding second.  That dude runs like my Aunt Grace.

3) This may upset the 8 or 9  people who think the AL central has team that can contend for the pennet but I would REALLY like to see the Yankees, Rays, Red Sox and Rangers battle it out in the playoffs.  But I'll have to swap one of them for the Twins or White Socks.  The world is a cruel place.

4) Yesterday, at the Mets game on Citifield's JumboTron, they showed video of Ryan Howard twisting his ankle lunging for second base and the crowd actually cheered.  I'm not judging BUT if the situation was reversed and Philly fans cheered a NY player getting hurt, it would be ALL you would be hearing about on SportsCenter this morning.  This double standard has been around for a long time and is rivaled only when Fox News breaks down a State of the Union Address by a democratic president. 

5) I agree with Ozzie.  Hispanic player should be provided translaters if needed.  While we're at it, get one for Ozzie.  Wait..What? He's speaking english ?  Oh.  Did you guys know that?

6) I read an article today that would scare the crap out of me if I were a Nationals fan (assuming there is such a thing as a Nationals fan).  It said that Stasburg (who is already feeling fatigue in his shoulder) has the exact same throwing mechanics and imperfections as Mark Prior.  That's like hearing "He has the temperance of a young Darryl Strawberry".  Not Good.

7)  Trade deadline winners..... Phillies (Are we SURE Ed Wade isn't still working for the Phillies?), Texas (Cliff Lee is the best pitcher is baseball in my opinion), Yankees (they wanted EVERYONE.  I hear they actually tried to trade for Pedro Cerrano.

8) The Tigers are in trouble.  One guy leads them in Avg, RBI, OPS and HR's.  The rest of the team is either hurt or REALLY bad.  Remember the Bugs Bunny cartoons when Bugs plays all 9 positions on the field and strikes out 3 batters with one pitch?  Well, unless Cabrera can do his best Bug Bunny impression I'd say baseball is done in Detroit for 2010.

9) Wanna know how bad things are in Baltimore?  They are on pace to finish more than 50 games out of first place.  In the past 50 years only the legendary '62 Mets have finished more than 50 game out (60.5).  Who would come watch this team?  If I'm managing the front office I'm running a contest for every home game where one lucky fan gets to pitch the 9th inning.  What do they honestly have to lose by doing that?  Can you imagine your wife/girlfriend/mother winning that contest on Sunday afternoon and having to pitch against the Yankees for an inning?  Who wouldn't tune in for that?

10) Interesting stat that makes me a little dizzy... Jamie Moyer is the oldest player in the major leagues at 47.  He would have to still be playing 13 years from now to become the oldest player in MLB history.  Satchel Paige played in a MLB game when he was 59 years old in 1965. 
Category: MLB
Posted on: July 21, 2010 9:12 am

Inside the White Lines (July Edition)

-First USC, now Florida. Word is that Alabama is also having issues with NCAA violations related to agents contacting players. I think the sanctions against USC were appropriate and hopefully force teammates to hold each other accountable and check on each other so that games/titles/awards are stripped because one diva player (I’m looking at you Reggie) decides the rules don’t apply to him. Side note… Reggie, how could you look into a camera and flat out lie about “being innocent” of all of these charges. USC fans and your fans deserve better. You and your parents are nothing but a punk extortionists.

-On that same note, Pete Carroll is a liar. He had to know that something was going on with Reggie Bush. He recently said on Real Sports that “There was defiantly something going on” and that “I wish my awareness was better then and as good as it is today”. He’s like the Honky Tonk Man after hits his opponent with his guitar when the ref isn’t looking and then throws his hands up and looks surprised when the ref disqualifies him because his opponent is “knocked out” and there are guitar shrapnel scattered all over the ring.

-“I’m going to play to the Miami Heat”. 1.7 seconds. Seems appropriate. You’re a media prostitute Lebron. Man, did your fingers look bare during that special… oh wait, that’s right, you haven’t won ANYTHING.

-Being a Phillies fan right now is kind of like being a skydiver and realizing halfway through a freefall that your parachute was packed wrong and doesn’t work. Then you realize the parachute pack was made by a company named Blanton Moyer. 7 Games out… are you serious!! Better find your heart Phils… QUICKELY.

-Training camps open in a week and not 1 first round pick is signed yet. Could this mean they are all joining forces and taking their talents to South Beach.

-Fantasy Football thoughts of the week. 1) Kevin Kolb and Hakeem Nicks will be the best fantasy bargains in drafts this year. 2)Ray Rice is rated awfully high when Magahee is slated as the back inside the 20’s. 3) Why would anyone touch Steven Jackson in the first 2 rounds when he gets hurt every year and his TEAM averaged 11 points a game last year.

-T.O. is still waiting. Cartwright Four!! Get your popcorn ready T.O., you’ll be watching this season at home on your couch. Side note T.O., you’re the only one calling Buffalo “North America’s Team” and San Fran, Philly and Dallas are also in North America. Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

-Fact you may not be aware of…. The last place Kansas City Royals are leading the league in hitting. Correction, they are second to last in the central standings…. Sorry for that oversight…. force of habit.

-Is anyone else secretly hoping that Leftwhich throws for 350 and 4 touchdowns a game while Big Ben sits out thus forcing him to remain on the bench and out of our sight for the remainder of the year? (fathers with daughters are smirking and nodding approvingly across the nation)

-What the heck happened Tiger… no wins this year at all…It has to be mental right? History shows you had no trouble getting your balls into 72 holes in one weekend before you got caught.

-Hold on… let me check something…...yep….Sarah Palin is STILL talking. “Refudiat”?? This comes from someone who almost came within a heartbeat of the presidency ? Good Lord!! On a related note, if you want Bristol Palin to speak at your event it will cost $30,000. It will also cost $40,000 if you want to leave the event halfway though her speech.

Posted on: May 18, 2010 8:39 pm

Average Thoughts From an Average Sports Fan

-That thud you heard last week was the heart of every Bruins fan in the greater Boston area.  How does what happened ever happen?  Gotta give it to the Flyers, they are playing at a whole new level at the perfect time.

-So if I take a PED, don't get caight and play at a higher level than my peers who aren't taking PED's I get an award.  If I take a PED, get caught and play at a higher level than my peers who aren't taking PED's, I get the same award.  HHMMmmm.  Anyone else see the flaw in that system... look closely.  Seriously WTF?

-There is NO chance Lebron leaves Cleveland, you heard it here first.  The Knicks are going to end up being the AC Slater in this Kelly Kapowski style love triangle with Cleveland playing the part of Zach Morris.

-What does Mel Kiper Jr. do from March-May?  Does anyone actually know the answer to this question?

-Patrick Crayton and Andre Johnson are both holding out of OTA's this week in protest to get a new contract.  Guess which one will get paid and which one will get dropped of at the train station and pushed out without fully stopping the car.

-Jamarcus Russell.... Ohhh Jamarcus... Ryan leaf need your address to send you a thank you card.  He is no longer #1 on a very dubious list.

-TO waiting and waiting for someone to call his name reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where they can't get a table at the Chinese restaurant.  I almost expect the next free agent WR signed to be named "Cartwright".  Do you think he realizes how much GM's DON'T want him on their team?

-Name (1) player on the roster for the first place Cincinnati Reds......go on.... I'll wait.  For bonus points, name one player not named Gonzalez on the first place Padres.... Take your time.  Shaping up to be an interesting year in MLB.

-The NHL regular season is like the latest incarnation on Melrose Place, completely forgettable.  BUT, playoff hockey is like WRESTLEMANIA III for 6 straight weeks.  I'm glued.

-FINALLY!! Someone told A-ROD that the season started a month and a half ago.  This same informant also told Ryan Howard.  My fantasy team thanks you.

-The Big Ten courting Notre Dame is eerily similar to the Ross and Rachel angle during the first season of FRIENDS.  Everyone knows the Big Ten loves Notre Dame.  Notre Dame like the Big Ten but only as a friend.  In the end though we all know they will end up together.
Category: NFL
Posted on: May 5, 2010 8:07 pm

Inside the White Lines

Random Thoughts From The Past Two Weeks in Sports....

-“Don’t Tase me Bro!”.  I’m not sure what was going through that kid’s head when he stormed the field during the Phillies game Monday night but I bet he didn’t think a) he would be so elusive that 7 grown men (security guards) won’t be able to catch him OR b) He’ll become the first minor to be tasered in centerfield during a major league baseball game.  However, watching that kid run around the field at Citizen’s
Bank Park on Monday night reminded me of Reggie Bush’s game against Fresno state in 2005.  When that kid gets to Penn State in the fall…. get him a helmet and point him towards Beaver Stadium.

-Finally got a chance to watch the Penn State Blue/White game and you have to be more than a little worried about the QB and O-line situation.  Two guys vying to be the starting QB for the Penn State Nittany Lions looked a bit overwhelmed, while a true freshman stepped in and provided the offensive fireworks.  I do, however, have the utmost faith that JoePa and his staff will right the ship and have the Lions ready when they come knocking in Tuscaloosa Sept. 10th.

-Sorry Mets, hope you took a lot of pictures during your 24 stay atop the NL East…. It will be a long time before you’re there again.

-Props to the Suns who bucked the rules and protested Arizona’s new immigration law by wearing “Los Suns” jerseys Tuesday night.  Whether you agree with the law or not, you have to respect Nash, Hill and company for supporting their cause.

 -Anyone want to coach the Sixers…… Anyone??   Bueller??

 -I’m not a hater, I actually like Ryan and the Jets BUT I think they went little overboard on the “It’s a brilliant idea to sign and trade for every underperforming big name player on the market” cool-aid.  They have added a “Post Dancing with the Stars” Jason Taylor, a LT who’s yards per carry avg. was only 3.7 yards more than my mom’s in 2009, Braylon Edwards who needs a pass firmly jammed into his facemask in order for him to catch it and Santonio Holmes who has spent more time at the PoPo station than Zach Morris did in Mr. Belding’s office.  P.S. Hand the Emmy to “Hard Knocks” right now, why wait.  I can’t wait to see that show.

 -Anyone want to play for Rich Rodriguez….Anyone??  Bueller?

 -Could the Seahawks have had a better draft?  Three starters in the first 33 picks….I’m sure Pete Carroll is trying to get into the same Fantasy Football league as Buddy Nix (Bills) and Gene Smith (Jags) as we speak.

-Dear Theo Epstein, you’re going to need to push that big red button next to you labeled “panic”…. It’s time.

-Whatever you do don’t mention Lebron’s elbow with the city limits of Cleveland…. They don’t want to talk about it.  Try anything… anything…heating pad, ice, brace, Mr. Miyagi’s little “rub’n touch” move… something’s gotta get King James healthy so he can get his ring.  Side Note- Kobe’s a punk.

-I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for the interview Dez Bryant had with Jeff Ireland.  “Hold on dog…. What did you just ask me?”

-Don’t look now but the Ray’s are doing it again.  I don’t think they’ll beat out the Yankees but if any team can in the AL… it’s them.

-Another year...... another Woman's Rugby National Championship for Penn State... but you all probably new that already.

-Non Sports Thought of the Week:  With only 4 hours left of LOST.... I still have no clue how they're going to end this thing. 

Posted on: November 3, 2009 7:12 am

10 Things I believe about Game 5...

- I believe Chase has found a favorite landing spot in right field... what a game.

- I believe it was 8-2 in the 8th... how did the Yankees make it a game... great effort Bombers.

- I believe we WILL NOT SEE Lidge anymore in this series.

- I believe Damon is CLUTCH

- I believe Howard is 1 away from the wrong kind of record.. come on MVP.. make contact.

- I believe Philly (and I) was happy to see Raul making a difference at the plate.

- I believe I have no idea why Jorge and AJ don't lke each other... maybe someone can enlighten us.

- I believe Pedro surprises everyone again and posts a strong outsing tomorrow.. I'm not saying the Phils win but he will give them a chance... note, I'm not saying I think they'l loose either.

- I believe We will see Cliff Lee for at least a batter in game 7.

- I still believe this goes 7 and we will se at least 7 Phillies pitchers in that game.... all hands on deck.
Category: MLB
Posted on: November 2, 2009 6:57 am

10 "I Believes" about Game 4

1.  I believe that..Ryan, Ryan, Ryan you need to make contact more than 1x for your team to have a chance.... STOP STRIKING OUT!!!

2.  I believe ARod will need LOTS of ice packs this morning... did he say something about someone's mama or something?.

3.  I believe the strike zone remain HUGE, both ways.

4.  I believe Lidge did it to Pilly again, thanks for last year Brad but your killing us this year, please shut it down.

5.  I believe Blanton did BETTER than I thought but still not good enough.

6.  I believe that if a miricle happens and this goes to 7 games the Phillies CAN get to CC

7.  I believe that if a miricle happens and this goes to 7 games the Phillies CANNOT trust Hamels.

8.  I believe that top of the Yankees line-up is just GETTING IT DONE.

9.  I believe the Yankees R-E-S-P-E-C-T Jason Weyth.

10.  I believe Cliff Lee and Pedro win back to back and this goes 7.
Category: MLB
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or